The first chapter in this five part series has me announcing quite emphatically that one is enough. Months of seasickness morning sickness are not for this gal no matter how cute the outcome. I was firm. And then she got me. Cuteness won. She needs a friend, I tell Donny. He agrees.
Back then when we discussed having a family I said six, he said four. It was just conversation, never a real plan, just never not a plan. We both like children. That’s actually how we met. Creating an interactive booth for kids at a church function, but that’s a whole other story.
I have my Dalkon Shield taken out. Yes, I had one of those. Probably a good thing I opted out of the one kid plan. Again the advise, it may take awhile. Again, we’re immediately pregnant.
Maybe it won’t be so bad this time I lie to myself. It’s possibly worse. Emily is a trooper. We sit on the couch, eat popsicles and watch endless TV. A four channel selection worth. Her first full sentence is, “It can be yours if the price is right!”
The kip isn’t due until the end of March but my track record says early.
It’s morning. I feel weird. I beg Donny not to leave for work just yet. As he is getting another cup of coffee my water breaks, all over the bed. For the uninitiated, as I was, it’s a LOT of fluid. Followed by I’m not f*&king around here contractions. I fervently want to lay there (just not on the not water bed) and pop the kid out. My friend the couch will be perfect. But such birthing is only for hippies and those way out people.
We call the doctor. Meet us at the hospital. It’s going to be close. We call our neighbor Slim to come take care of Emily.
We start our journey to the hospital on the other side of town. Faster I urge Donny. His presses the pedal harder. Suddenly blue lights appear. “Hello officer, sorry about speeding but my wife is having a baby. Can you help get us to St Mary’s faster?” The officer looks at me. I’m too busy holding the baby in check to look back. I’m sure that he figures he either gives us an escort to the hospital or he helps deliver a baby. Escort it is.
Not that many months later Emily has her fully formed playmate. Mission accomplished.
Donald Athelstan Ball Junior March 6, 1974
